Online activity from me will be hindered from here.
I will be focusing on improving my mental state. Mostly the way I think and the way I behave. I'm a mess, my goals are not ideal, I'm disgusting and gross, I'm immature, and I'm not the best person to be around with. I am not growing as a person. I have had enough with hurting everyone around me and not realizing my mistakes when I do so. The thought that I could be a sociopath scares me, and I do not want to end up as that. For the meantime, my online activity won't be as active as before. I need to do this for myself and for my friends. I am tired of ruining everything I've built up on only to be knocked back down from my own actions. Actions that I have the choice to do or not. It truly irritates me how I can act so carelessly and/or selfishly.
If for any reason you need to keep in touch with me, DM me and I'll respond depending if I have time or not, also depends on the importance of the topic. Do not be afraid to reach out, I am still willing to speak with my friends or help out with certain things. I wouldn't mind being talked to, but be weary that I could be busy depending on my status. Especially on the first couple weeks since writing this down. I could still talk more freely most likely, but when I get a job it would depend.
I don't want to ruin any other friendships and relationships I have from being like this. I need to get my life together. I am 20 years old. I should act like one. I am not letting this happen ever again, even if I have to punish myself for it. It starts with a reality check, and Im gonna do it by going outside, looking for jobs, talking to people, and getting off the internet more. I'll get therapy when I am able to. I genuinely never want to disappoint anyone ever again. Goodbye to anyone reading this, and hopefully you all stay safe. Again, feel free to talk to me if you still want to talk or ask for help with something.
No one can help myself more than I can.